If you have come to a point in your life where you're wondering what the f**k is going on with your love life, you're not alone. Most of us have no idea why our relationships sink like the Titanic. We go from partner to partner, ignoring the mistakes of the past. But those mistakes have a habit of resurfacing, even when we bury them deep.
Your relationships are failing for a common reason. Let's explore:
1. You're Needy
Needy tends to manifest in ways you may not expect. You might call too often, texts too regularly, inquire about your partner's whereabouts, or make demands on their time that are unrealistic.
Being consumed with what your partner is doing with whom and why, you will be single quicker than you could say, "Where are you?" Consider how a plant feels when you overwater it. Similarly, your partner will feel drowned and suffocated by your constant orbiting.
THE FIX: Dig deep into your hobbies and spend some time with your friends. Being a wholly independent person, free from your partner, is an attractive trait.
The best way to combat needy is by doing the opposite. Fill your day with enough activities that you don't have time to check-in. Giving your partner space to miss, you will strengthen your relationship. If you find this process too demanding, take a step back and ask yourself what's going on.
2. You Move Too Fast
There is a phrase people tend to rush through: The Honeymoon Phase. The lust is palpable, and you can't get your hands off each other. You mistake that feeling for a sign that you should be together, so you rush into monogamy. They meet your friends, family, and colleagues from work. Before you know it, you're in a year-long relationship with a one-night-stand.
THE FIX: Ask yourself some tough questions: How does this person fit in with the wants and needs of my life? Would I want to start a family with this person? If the answer seems uncertain, slow it down.
The mistake singles often make: They rush into something before they have all of the information. Look for signs and red flags that you may have missed and make adjustments before it's too late.
3. You Are Selfish
You may not be intentionally selfish, but perhaps you're selfish with your time, emotions, or physical availability. If you're married to your job, lack commitment, or even fail to show up in ways that count; it's a sign that you're not reallyin thisfor the reasons you think.
THE FIX: Get committed. If you're serious about being in a long-term relationship, you have to commit. Relationships require investment, and any smart investor will expect a return. Expecting someone to invest in you when you're half-assing your way through is unrealistic and selfish. Take a step back and determine if love is what you want.
4. You Have Baggage
If you're fresh out of a relationship or still recovering from a broken heart, you are not ready to jump into something new. Perhaps you feel ready, but you're skeptical of new people, make snap judgments without facts, or reject prospects because they remind you of an ex.
THE FIX: Your new partner should not be subject to the ridicule and disappointment of your last partner. Take some time to work through your emotional issues so that you can be present for your relationship. If you can't find your way through, seek professional help. You are not weak or less than for reaching out.
It takes a big person to accept their flaws and have a willingness to do something about it.
