Somehow in the last few years, petty has achieved critical acclaim. Once a passive form of communication, scores of people across the internet have now owned petty.
What happens though when being petty trickles into your relationship? Does getting back at your partner by firing shots prove productive? And how exactly do you stop being petty when you no longer wish to be? How do you move past the need to have the last say? Well, that's a task for the strong because being petty can get comfortable. Like a muscle in regular use, tapping into your strength becomes second nature.
Let's first look at the definition of petty. According to the Urban Dictionary (I know, not quite Webster's but stay with me), petty means "making things, events, or actions normal people dismiss as trivial or insignificant into excuses to be upset, uncooperative, childish, or stubborn. A person who is purposefully childish with the intent of eliciting a reaction (sometimes funny)."
What's clear about relationships is that there is no place for childishness or stubbornness if being in a LTR is your goal. Relationships require patience, understanding, and compromise. Yes, there comes the point when disagreements become common, but if you're more concerned with the clap back than how your partner's feeling, well then that says more about you and your state of mind than your partner.
Whether you're right or wrong isn't the issue. Having the last word and proving your point beyond the realm of respect and decency is. And if you're struggling with differentiating the two, it's time for you to make some decisions.
So how do you stop being petty if you own that shit like your favorite shirt? How do you let go and let God? Have empathy. Put yourself in your partner's position. Imagine being made to feel small about something you said or did. Would you feel empowered to stay? Consider the impact that your words have on your partner's self-esteem and ask yourself, "Is it worth it?" The answer will be very telling.
Petty is acceptable on social media or perhaps throwing a little shade at a close friend, but your relationship should be considered a petty-free zone. Every adverse action we take into our partnerships has consequences. You have to decide whether the results of your petty are worth it.
