Dating is intimating for most, but when you’re a transgender single hoping to find your “one,” there are a different set of challenges you must overcome.
Transphobia is, sadly, alive and thriving. In 2018, the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships published a study that indicated “across a sample of heterosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, and trans individuals, 87.5% indicated that they would not consider dating a trans person, with cisgender heterosexual men and women being most likely to exclude trans persons from their potential dating pool.”
The lack of acceptance toward trans people leads to hateful judgment, slurs, or uncomfortable situations, not to mention the high rate of sexual assault. Because of this, transgender singles are understandably guarded. But finding love is not impossible; however, the path requires patience and the ability to say no to the bullshit. 💅🏾
How to meet people
Apps like HER, Taimi, OKCupid, and Qutie are great places to start for those new to the dating scene. But, like every dating app, it’s important to be clear about what you’re looking for. While many trans singles opt to share their gender identity upfront to avoid uncomfortable or harmful reactions, the choice is ultimately yours.
Ways to stay safe
Dating someone new always comes with risks, but here are some steps that trans singles can take to ensure their safety:
- Get to know each other over Facetime, text messages, or phone calls before meeting in person. This can give you a better impression of the person before you commit to spending time with them at a restaurant or coffee shop.
- Reveal your trans identity whenever you feel comfortable. If you feel safe, reveal this early on and ask if they’re accepting.
- Always meet in a public place during the day. Bringing a friend on the first date is okay to ease nervousness. Let your date know ahead of time, and they can also invite a friend or two.
- Before going on a date, share your date’s personal information and your expected whereabouts with a friend.
- Be clear about what you’re looking for and your boundaries.
Where to go for a first date
The best spots to go on a date as a trans person are places you know are welcoming to the LGTBQ community. Think of coffee shops, museums, restaurants, or other sites where you can engage in fun activities. Even if you feel comfortable after texting your date for a few days before the meeting, pick a public first date spot and avoid meeting up late at night.
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